So it's the holiday season again! It comes around quickly (unless you are under the age of 10!). For many of you, the festive season marks the end of a long year, a time to reflect and have a nice time with people around you. For just as many people though, Christmas and associated stuff is a really stressful time, and for many of my clients, it's a time of firsts. The first Christmas without their partner, the first holiday since someone has become unwell, the first holiday on treatment. Everyone deals with this differently, which is ok, but I think at this time of reflection, it's worth taking stock for everyone about how to make sense of everything that happens for us.
Our instinct is often to busy ourselves so we don't have to deal with difficult and painful emotions and hope that they will go away. Sometimes this can be a good short term strategy. But, perhaps instead a helpful skill is to learn how to sit with the emotions and to not be fearful of them. If we try and block them out and ignore them, they often just keep bouncing back at us. But, if we acknowledge the sadness, happiness, grief, anger and everything else that our brain throws at us we are able to change our relationship with it a little bit. It won't make it go away, but powerful emotions will never just disappear! Instead, by noticing what happens when you feel angry, sad etc then you can change the relationship you have to it. If you google some "sitting with emotions" there will be a heap of exercises come up which will be helpful.
And so, when these difficult things come up over the next couple of weeks (as I am sure they will for everyone), take the time to notice it, pay attention to it, and sit with the discomfort rather than trying to push it aside. This time of year leads to reflection and perhaps for you, it will bring you to decisions about changes or things to do differently. All of these things are good, even if they feel uncomfortable. Most change does.
So, on that note, I am going to sign off for the year, but I am looking forward to what the next one brings! Stay safe, look after yourself and the people around you.
Cheers Toni :)